Sports SMS

One day of practice is like one day of clean living. It doesn't do you any good. ~Abe Lemmons


Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what happened. ~Rita Rudner

Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is listed as day-to-day. Aren't we all? ~Vin Scully


I would have thought that the knowledge that you are going to be leapt upon by half-a-dozen congratulatory, but sweaty team-mates would be inducement not to score a goal. ~Arthur Marshall

Professional wrestling's most mysterious hold is on its audience. ~Luke Neely, 1953


To think of playing cricket for hard cash! Money and gentility would ruin any pastime under the sun. ~Mary Russell Mitford, 1823

Every sport pretends to a literature, but people don't believe it of any other sport but their own. ~Alistair Cooke


I always turn to the sports section first. The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page has nothing but man's failures. ~Earl Warren

If only Hitler and Mussolini could have a good game of bowls once a week at Geneva, I feel that Europe would not be as troubled as it is. ~R.G. Briscow


When we played, World Series checks meant something. Now all they do is screw up your taxes. ~Don Drysdale, 1978